Wednesday, January 30, 2013

IF I EVER WAS:
I TELL YOU NOW
I AM NOT.

i am not.

no.
nope.
no way.
i will not be.

my lover,
please send me
to my grave before
i am another janet frame

or another cilla mcqueen.


let me never be
poet laureate of
this country.

all anyone ever
wants to do is
watch the paint
dry on the fence.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Marina Ivanovna Tsvetaeva


Prayer

Christ and the Lord! I thirst for marvel
Now, here, as the day would start!
The life is like a book to me,
So let me die. Let me depart.

You're wise, and sternly 'Now be patient,
Your time's not ripe' you will not say.
Yourself you gave me - too much now!
I thirst at once - for every way!

I want it all: with soul of gypsy
To run to plunder with a song,
To suffer for all near an organ,
To run to war, an Amazon;

To divine stars in a black tower
The kids through shadows to lead…
That yesterday would be a legend,
That each and every day be mad!

I love the cross, the silk, the helmet,
The minute's trace of soul of mine..
You gave me childhood - better than fiction
Now let me die at seventeen!
YOUR TIDES ARE ARCS OF DUST
COLLECTING ICONS OF MY LAST
HEART-FELT POEM

and where are you now?
little spirit - you said
you would stay,

climb into my bones.

weave your way down

my neck, into my spine.


you stayed
a moment,
and then...


you left.



little spirit you left me!


oh.
little spirit.

did you do
it because i
said somethings?

i wanted you to stay
with me.

together we could have
seen jungles and tides rise.

but, what
you've done,

( in leaving )

is so much more.

S A P P H O


Blame Aphrodite

It's no use
Mother dear, I
can't finish my
weaving
You may
blame Aphrodite

soft as she is

she has almost
killed me with
love for that boy

No Word

I have had not one word from her

Frankly I wish I were dead.
When she left, she wept

a great deal; she said to
me, ``This parting must be
endured, Sappho. I go unwillingly.''

I said, ``Go, and be happy
but remember (you know
well) whom you leave shackled by love

``If you forget me, think
of our gifts to Aphrodite
and all the loveliness that we shared

``all the violet tiaras,
braided rosebuds, dill and
crocus twined around your young neck

``myrrh poured on your head
and on soft mats girls with
all that they most wished for beside them

``while no voices chanted
choruses without ours,
no woodlot bloomed in spring without song...''

Like the gods. . .

In my eyes he matches the gods, that man who
sits there facing you--any man whatever--
listening from closeby to the sweetness of your
voice as you talk, the

sweetness of your laughter: yes, that--I swear it--
sets the heart to shaking inside my breast, since
once I look at you for a moment, I can't
speak any longer,

but my tongue breaks down, and then all at once a
subtle fire races inside my skin, my
eyes can't see a thing and a whirring whistle
thrums at my hearing,

cold sweat covers me and a trembling takes
ahold of me all over: I'm greener than the
grass is and appear to myself to be little
short of dying.

Tonight I've watched

Tonight I've watched
the moon and then
the Pleiades
go down

The night is now
half-gone; youth
goes; I am

in bed alone.

Monday, January 28, 2013

i found another zine from ages ago!
its called LUV SUX
aw. haha.
here's a poem from it c;



11 
D I  F F E R E N T C O L O U R S


I HAVE DIFFERENT SKIN TO YOURS.
YOURS IS LUMINESCENT, AND MINE
GLOWS SOFTLY IN RESPONSE TO YOURS.



YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT MAKES ME GLOW.
hi i am making zines again!chea!i'm going to take them
to audio foundation in auckland, but if you're outta town
and want one email me! ( piupiumaya@gmail.com )
you can totally have your own hand made book of poetry!!
donations are totally welcome, but not necessary c:
here is a poem that is in da book c: pmtxxxx


11. F O U N D I N G S

i found something you might like.
my love, i saved it for you,
because even if you discard
it, i hold it close encase
you want it.

i will keep it soft in my
heart of love, that cuddles
your memory when i'm asleep.

Monday, January 21, 2013




I JUST STRING THEORIES ALONG
(and by theories i mean everyone i ever left)



i did a performance for a show at jos' house, 
where i tied the audience together with string,
forcing them to interact, be unusually close
to one another, and i fed them jelly beans.

i took the people from upstairs,
downstairs, to see the people downstairs.
then took everyone upstairs.

here's a poster.
it was a sweet as night




I S L A N D G E T A W A Y

move me through your oceans.

my tide lapses. now,

withdrawals, 
shaking isles and i am quaking.

you have not gone.

i feel the loss of (something)
drain me of buoyancy.

i go 
up and down
on salt water rivers.

wavering.

time moves
slow, immersed
in tidal dreams.


i was rubble before i was
anything else, and right
now i can feel my roots
bursting through the thinly
layered plaster shell.

my heart pumps my blood
to my brain and my body,
and it takes with it other
things that my body makes,
that make me curl up in
bed and watch cartoons
and cry lots without shame.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

w o n d e r l u s t

my body aches
i feel like leaving this place.

i feel like moving
through oceans
with only a suitcase,
and my life packed inside.

with you, there next to me.

dissatisfied, i want to
fall away, into some
where else. some where
new, where i am new
and my energies replenish.

so i step outside.

He shows me the lights
in windows, and then,
the building reflected,
and then, someone
cleaning the windows,

and i feel sedated
and satisfied, that

He made everything i know,
and in this knowledge, i
am calmly serene. 
IF YOU'RE WILLING

i rest in you,
fading into your chest
becoming see-through
i am not ashamed of anything,

your arms
keep my tired head
from falling into the atmosphere,

he said:
"we could never be half
as bad as you are good"
and it comforts me 

to know i can not be
perfect, and i've made a
big mistake, but you are here,

to hold my fading head up
out of the atmosphere.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013



i am hurt
by the desire to evoke
something in my self that
could tear through space.

my eyes are moving like
light speed through oceans
of echoed emotion that
torpedoed toward you

and you
never even

flinched.

V A R I A T I O N S O N T H E N O R M
i feel

much

some times / other times

absolutely
nothing at all.

it's all

variant

in mood.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013



"you took away the gift i gave:

N O W I L I V E I N S I L E N C E"


a performance for
chronophonium 2013


action:

give each person a cherry.
each cherry is a blessing.
each person is sacred. 

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

I DIDN'T KNOW

i waited a thousand hours
for my eyes to open
and take back my
cancerous gazes into
a black hole without you.

i feel immortal
and inncocent knowing
we are here together
surrounded by daisies

until the day my body rots
away, and i am food for words.
new tattoos eeeee!




AND T O T H E END

and this.
the end of days
elopes with my eyes
that are melting
in their sockets.

i heard your name
called through a forest
and i was unable to speak,
knowing i did not listen.

but now silence.
i lie restless, can not
sleep for fear of never waking
up. but i did, and i woke
to the heavy air. 

every noise is you, 
and every moment is 
the rush of your presence
but none is, and i don't know,
i don't know. 

bury myself alive and
forget anything in
the dark expanse.
LEAVING Y O U BEHIND

i just leave
you to cool down,
fire's too hot for me to sleep
but i will try.

in sleep i am in an oasis
of sweet dreams where
you wear striped board shorts
and i lie in the sand, in bliss.

Monday, January 7, 2013




after the
e a s t c o a s t


once again my foot goes in,
sleeping in kettles and silence.

i believe you, i really do, and 
i can see how my bells chime constantly.

the ringing gives you headaches.



i'm sorry. i am rain. i am a stream
of pleading. i've broken us like white
china on the floorboards.

please don't leave me
please don't leave me. 

i made an ep ;)

check it owl here: 4-my-baby-blister

hiding under the covers
is the best way to spend
late tuesday afternoons




N O T YET P L E A S E

i might be spineless
but baby don't leave me.

i am not fit for consumption
and when i tried to make it
fit, i just choked you with my
inferior syntax. 

that burns holes in the walls
we built. i am sorry, pleading 
with my eyes at photos. i know

i know i am unsure of my own footing
but i am a young sprite, i can't fly straight

yet.
1 4  :  3 0
understanding words

he said:

"a heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones"


i was rotten whole.
but i heard her say:
"failure"

and i felt my eyes shift,
and let go of oxygen, 
to know, my body
has begun to bloom,

and i am released of my
past woes. 
lover do not bend your knees.

this bed lies heavy with your ghost,
and your bed lies heavy with the
memories of elsewhere, and other bodies
of love and the mystic pulls at the thought
of yesterday. i could never compete,
and in my faithfulness, i am beheading myself.
stopping thought and suspending animation. 
confessions will kill you in the end
(that i know for sure)

for sure, i am blank.
waiting, forever stuck
in this reality.
i ' m d o n e f o r

my words are immortalised
in someone else's emotion.

i connect myself to other people
through strings, threaded through the world.

wholly alone, i am holy with you,
complete with you, the chip
in my shoulder sits in your
eyes, and its only small,
but i could never be one
without it, and you.

i am silent, unable to speak.
when i try, i mishear myself,
so how could you see my eyes and
understand my fluctuating heartbeat.

if i cut my ties to everything,
 i could immortalise myself in sand
then, at least, i would be rid of the tangles. 

but if i ever did, i would missing
the chip off my shoulder,
and i would be missing you.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

SAD BUZZ

i could have grown old, and cold
and burnt up my way through the atmosphere.

but i am surrounded by my warmth,
and my naivety provoked tears.

i am a sad buzzy bee sitting in a violet flower.
left sitting in an altar, designed to carry me. 
is this independence - if so i don't want it.

i want a home garden.

Saturday, January 5, 2013


H E A V I N E S S
DESERVED

i am heavy,
with my love
resting on my back.

lying down could
never hold me up,
like lying down with
the thought of you

wistfully, i am
awake. listening
to the outside world
breathing soft.

i am contented with
my heaviness, that
holds your love close.

i have always deserved this -
borne from a bar of a cage, and
you have always deserved this -
missing a bone from your body.

we are deserving of
each other's heaviness,
and so we are complete
in each other.
RISE
(and)
FALL

i rise and fall,
with the sun
setting in your eyes.

i understand the sight,
mistook the movements.

i know i knew
once, when i was
standing still.

i rise and fall,
with the moon
setting in your eyes,

seeing the light
 of my image,
set in your eyes.

Friday, January 4, 2013


L E A  / / LEA // L E A


i lived in a lea.
had a meadow for a lark.

river's tide never
pushed high at the bend,
and i was content to lie
for hours on end.


then i moved to the city where
nothing was never enough.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

M A R K E D.

if i could

i would find every mark
on you,

and take a photograph with my eyes.

that way,

you could never die.

kept alive in the colour of my eyes.
the men,
running through the streets,
inhibitions gone like the wind through their hair.

the women follow slowly,
filled with as much joy,
but more content to hold it
in their breasts.